


Resolve

by jylener22



Category: Bleach
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, turbulent emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 08:30:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8883928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jylener22/pseuds/jylener22
Summary: “Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”― William Shakespeare, Measure for Measure





	

The heat from the burning buildings had long since dried out her arms, legs, neck and other areas of exposed skin. If she moved her face, she might have felt the remnants of her tears crack and flake on her cheeks. As it was, she made no movement of any kind. She had been frozen in the same position for God only knew how long. 10 seconds? 10 minutes? 10 hours? The passage of time was irrelevant to her at this point and had she been able to piece together a coherent thought, she would have wished for time to stop, to go back, to erase her from existence or any other number of things rather than have to witness this living nightmare.

She had lost him. Or rather, she had failed once again to do anything useful and Ichigo had…he had…

A crimson blast decimated a nearby building, causing the earth to shudder violently in protest. Had Orihime not already been kneeling on the street, the force would have sent her into a similar position. As it was, enough of Orihime’s instinct kicked in to stiffen her spine so that she didn’t flop bonelessly over.

“So I do have one after all,” was a passing thought that went through her brain unheeded as all of her senses and attention were focused on Ichigo. Or at least, the form that used to be him.

Tilting its head back, the creature seemed to be about ready to let out another of its high-pitched shrieks. Next moment, a figure bounded out from the shadows, slashing viciously at its back with their zanpaktou, apparently hoping to catch it by surprise. When the creature reached around to grab its attacker, another figure tried to step in and stab the creature in its exposed side. As brave as the two attackers were to attempt such a maneuver, it proved to be their last as the creature racked its claws across both their midsections and then blasted them with a cero for good measure. What was left of their bodies crumpled into pitiful heaps and joined the tens of other bodies surrounding the creature.

This time, the creature’s shriek of victory was uninterrupted. When it finished, the creature turned its back on Orihime and stalked slowly down the street.

That was when the realization struck her. She was about to be left alone. The creature didn’t even recognize her existence and it was going to leave her completely alone in the world in the midst of all this destruction and death.

Her muscles jerked, trying to propel her forward, trying to get her moving, to do anything rather than be left behind.

And that was when Orihime woke up.

Sitting up slowly, Orihime rested her forehead against her knees and breathed deeply until the nauseous feeling overwhelming her senses subsided. However, the superficial relief did nothing about the shame she felt towards herself. Yes, it had only been a dream, but Orihime felt a rock form in her stomach as she recalled springing into action in a selfish attempt to not be left alone. She had not given a single thought to any of the people who had tried to do something about Ichigo, even if it meant they had to destroy him.

How could she have ever thought that she loved him? Ichigo was strong and she was weak in more than just the physical sense. He didn’t deserve someone as cowardly and selfish as herself.

Turning her head to look out the window, Orihime gazed blandly out at the night sky overlooking Karakura. It was hard to imagine that less than four months ago, Aizen had attempted to destroy this town, or at least a replica of it. A lump formed in her throat as she recalled just how far Ichigo had been willing to go to stop Aizen. Almost simultaneously, those same emotions of love for Ichigo and shame over that very thing flared in her breast.

In those same four months, Orihime had been at war within herself. Seeing Ichigo in that numb, resigned state every day at school made her want to reach out and help him in some way, but she kept herself at a distance so as not to hurt Ichigo any more than she already had. Even though part of her rational brain told her she was being ridiculous, the other half of Orihime’s emotions had so distorted her perception of the incident with Aizen so as to make her believe that the bulk of the blame rested with her.

Had she gone on in the state she was in much longer, things would have turned out much differently. As it was, the doorbell ringing a few moments later was not just a signal that an unexpected visitor had arrived at an unusual hour. It actually turned out to be something of a divine intervention.

After pulling a sweater on to cover and warm her torso, Orihime padded quietly to the door and opened it cautiously, making sure to leave the chain on. Eyes widening, Orihime immediately closed the door enough to take the chain off before re-opening it to allow the person inside. She was surprised, but not unpleasantly so with who her visitor turned out to be.

“Chad!” Orihime exclaimed in a hushed tone so as not to disturb her neighbors, “Come in! Come in! Can I get you something to drink?” she stopped and apprehension filled her expression as she asked almost fearfully, “Did you get in a fight with some Hollows or Arran…are you hurt anywhere?”

Stepping inside the doorway, Chad laid his large hand gently on Orihime’s shoulder and said in a low, reassuring rumble, “I’m fine, Orihime. Just came by to see how you were doing.”

Tilting her head curiously as she closed the door, Orihime repeated in a confused tone, “See how I’m doing? I’m just fine.”

Shifting on his feet for a few moments, Chad cleared his throat and said slowly, “Look, Orihime…I was on my way home from work when I sensed a huge spike in your spiritual pressure. It felt like you were…troubled or something.”

Deciding that denial was not likely going to work in this situation (besides, lying never had been something she was good at), Orihime chose her usual stand-by of ‘act-like-its-not-that-big-of-a-deal’ and said in as sincere a tone as she could manage with a smile to match, “Oh, it was nothing important. Just woke up from a bad dream, is all.”

“What was the dream about?”

And like in her dream, Orihime was absolutely frozen. She hadn’t expected him to actually ask her about it and now she had no clue how to proceed. She couldn’t lie even if she wanted to. She couldn’t even tell a half-truth and only say that the creature in her dream was a Hollow or some creepy monster from the movies. Either she would tell the entire truth or none of it.

Sensing her dilemma, Chad squeezed her shoulder and said almost tenderly, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Just thought you should know that I’m here for you whenever you need someone.”

It wasn’t until Chad gave her a half-grin so like the ones that rarely adorned Ichigo’s face that Orihime broke. Two seconds after Chad’s face became a blur from the tears blocking her vision, Orihime felt the young man’s large, heavily muscled arms encircle her, offering security and sympathy. For about five minutes, the only sounds she made were shaky inhalations or coughs every now and again, but in that time she clutched the hem of Chad’s shirt for dear life while her tears absolutely drenched the front. In that time, Chad didn’t move or speak, being the proverbial rock for her to cling to as the ocean of her emotions threatened to drown her.

When he sensed the worst of the storm had passed, Chad rubbed comforting circles on her back as he said, “Let’s sit down,” to which Orihime gave a slight nod of agreement. Slowly leading her over to the front stoop, Chad made sure to keep his arm firmly in place as he carefully sat down with Orihime sitting almost in his lap. Then, the waiting game began anew as Chad allowed Orihime time to compose herself before carefully pressing her to share her burden with him.

Pausing frequently as she told Chad what she remembered about the nightmare to keep herself from completely falling apart again, when she came to the end, Orihime with a tone of finality, “I’m a horrible person.”

“Why?”

Inhaling deeply yet shakily, Orihime replied, “Because the only thing that caused me to get up and move was the thought that I was going to be left alone. Not that I might do something for Ichigo or maybe try and do something for those he had hurt, but that I couldn’t stand to be left behind.

“How could I be so selfish?”

“You went after him, right?”

The question caught Orihime off-guard so her only reaction for about ten seconds was to remain motionless as her brain tried to process the statement. Sitting up, Orihime found herself momentarily incapable of formulating a response, but Chad seemed to understand.

“You were running towards Ichigo, right? Not away from him.”

“Y-yes,” replied Orihime hesitantly, “Why?”

“It’s a start,” said Chad simply before he launched into a recollection of his own about how he and Ichigo first met. Orihime listened attentively and respectfully, but a small part of her wondered why Chad had felt the urge to bring it up. She was to find out soon enough.

“…Ichigo and I made a pact that day to fight for and alongside each other, no matter the cost.”

The story completed, Chad and Orihime sat in silence for a time before Chad said, “I’m weak too, Orihime.”

For the third time that night, Orihime was completely taken aback, only this time she protested, “No, you’re not!”

Giving her a half-hearted grin, Chad replied, “I’ve lost pretty much every fight I’ve engaged in this past year. I trained to go to Soul Society and help Ichigo save Rukia. I trained some more and tried to help you in Hueco Mundo.”

Feeling her eyes starting to fill again, Orihime reached over and grasped Chad’s arm gratefully as she said, “You did and you got so much stronger each time. Please, you can’t give up. Ichigo needs you.”

“He needs you too.”

Gaping at Chad, Orihime was about to protest when Chad repeated in a firmer tone, “Yes, Orihime, Ichigo needs you. Without you, most of us would be dead long before now.”

“…But I can’t fight and I couldn’t heal him back then. I could only watch.”

Shaking his head, Chad decided to switch tactics and asked, “Do you think Ichigo has really lost his powers for good?”

Orihime replied automatically, “No.”

“Neither do I,” said Chad, “and while part of me tells me it’s pointless to try, I want to get stronger than I am now so that when Ichigo gets his powers back, I can actually help him next time he steps onto a battlefield. What about you?”

Looking about ready to shrink back into her shell, Chad gripped her hand and said, “In your dream you ran after Ichigo. Even if you began by thinking you didn’t want to be alone and despite the fact that you had just seen him do all those horrible things, you went after him. You didn’t run away.”

Chad allowed Orihime enough time to absorb the idea before saying, “Maybe the problem is that we’re trying to do this alone. So how about we join forces in this?”

“…All right.”

“For Ichigo?”

“…For Ichigo.”


End file.
